Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
