i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
if only i could text you this smell
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
