I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
