did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
