matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
