Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
