Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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