hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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