ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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