Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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