so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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