Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
kristin has been a bad kristin
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
