i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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