i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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