then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
