it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
