New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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