My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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