All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
