check it out our google latitudes are spooning
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize