We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
