real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Randomize
