sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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