Apparently you make a good broom.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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