operation harelip BJ is a go
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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