Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
