OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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