About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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