If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
