You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
