People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
