a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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