i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
