You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
