i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
