ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
