and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
