so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
