he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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