ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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