I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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