Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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