ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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