I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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