home. puking in laundry basket.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
