He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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