i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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