i jhust puked up my retainher.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
How naked do you want me to be?
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