my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Randomize
