It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
