i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
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