Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize