R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
