You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Randomize
