If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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