it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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