Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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