I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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