Will you blow on my dice?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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