he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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