You're completely useless in the revolution.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Sorry about my life...
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
