i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Randomize
