He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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