I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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