im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
