If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
