I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Is it penis luge time yet?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize