I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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