I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
