Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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