How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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