I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
