worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize