idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
