Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
