He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize