he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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