Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
