Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
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