I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
